Updated: Apr 1, 2021
This week’s post is really a continuation of last week’s theme of creative control. So please read that if you haven’t already. Now that you know how to use creative control in different difficult situations, how can you use that technique when disciplining your child? Remember it is all about giving her the control back. Here are some simple guidelines: (1) Come up with a list of punishments of differing levels of severity. You can name the levels whatever you want (Level 1, Stage A, #1, Code Red, etc.,.).
(2) Second, decide what the punishments should be at each level (you should have at least two different punishments for each level).
(3) Tell your child what the punishments are at each level before the offense so she knows what to expect.
(4) This is the most important part. At the time of punishment, give your child the choice of punishment.
Some key points to remember:
*I strongly do NOT advocate physical punishment. There is too much research to indicate this is not an effective practice. Taking away recreational activities is a much more effective teaching tool, than something which takes away your child’s dignity and sense of self-respect.
*Remember the two types of punishment should be equivalent at each level.
*Remember to tell your child the punishments beforehand so there are no surprises. A lot of our kiddos don’t deal well with changes or surprises.
I bet that the fallout you usually get from punishing your child will drastically decrease! As many of our beautiful children have issues of control, giving them back some of the control in their environment will help them feel more grounded and they will trust you more. I’d love for you to try this out for a few weeks and let me know how it works. Please feel free to write me at any time and let me know—I love hearing your success stories! Even if it doesn’t work, let me know—maybe there are things I can tweak. I am always learning—if you’re not learning, you’re not growing as a person! I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from my all-time favorite poet, Rumi.
Raise your words, not your voice.
It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
Behavioral challenges and solutions will be one of the components covered in the Mindful Village® program coming in January (https://www.drrabia.com/mindfulness). If you'd like to be kept updated (& receive the HUGE founder's discount) when the Mindful Village® program goes live, please remember to subscribe to my newsletter as subscribers will have first dibs. You will also receive some quick techniques for mindful parenting via this FREE guide: “Finding Calmness in Chaos: 5 Quick Techniques for Mindful Parenting of Neurodiverse Children” (Click below). Thanks and have a beautiful week! 🧡